To Jake in Nashville
“Michael, I was 9 months sober. I was doing everything right; church, meetings, counseling, new friends. Then I cracked and drank again. I haven’t told anyone. I feel like I’ve thrown it all away. I don’t feel like I’m still a Christian because I fell again. Am I still worth saving?”
Jake,
Let me speak plainly: yes, you’re still worth saving. Not because you stayed clean, but because God doesn’t discard children who fall. The relapse didn’t erase the nine months. It didn’t cancel your progress. It exposed your need for grace, not your unworthiness of it.
You cracked — that doesn’t make you a coward. It makes you human. You didn’t “undo” everything. You revealed where the healing still needs to go. You fell off the horse. Now you get back on. That’s what men do. You pick yourself up, take responsibility, and keep going.
Don’t let shame silence you. Tell your wife. Tell your sponsor. You don’t need to wear this moment like a scarlet letter. Don’t label yourself a failure. You fell, it happens don’t let anyone tell you otherwise but you are not a failure. Don’t you wear that label. The threshing floor is never about punishment. It’s where wheat is separated from chaff. It’s where the real man is revealed beneath the addicted one.
You’re still in the fight. You’re still a Christian. This didn’t surprise God and He’s not done with you. The righteous, that’s you, fall seven times and get back up!
So here’s your next right thing: confess, repent, stand back up, and keep walking. Let grace wash over you like a waterfall streaming from a cool river. Let your wife see your honesty, not your hiding. Let your sponsor see your fight, not your shame.
You’re not back at square one. You’re at the place where men become whole.
You’re not disqualified. You’re being refined.
Stay on the path. I’m with you.
— Michael Vowell
Michael Vowell: Reflections on Grace, Love, and Leadership 